How do I ‘go back to reality’?
I feel frozen. Adrift in a time between what I just experienced and the world.
When the eclipse was in motion, my sweetie turned to me and said, ‘Don’t be afraid of the darkness. Go straight into your shadow’.
It was getting colder, the shadows were growing longer, and only the tiniest sliver of sun remained. It felt freaky; like a colossal shadow was imprinting on top of everything.
And you know what I felt?
I felt annoyed by the masses of people, chatting, talking loudly, drinking their alcohol, being so damn people-y. I wanted to run away from them all.
There’s a CocoRosie song: ‘Do you have love for humankind?’ Sometimes, the truth is, I don’t.
When the eclipse cast its full shadow over the sun, I took off the glasses, and stared full-on into what looked like a lack hole surrounded by a dazzling ring of flame.
My body collapsed into shaking sobs. It was beautiful, frightening, awesome, all at the same time.
I felt so small. So insignificant. The greater cycles of the planets are a bigger part of the picture, and I am just a fraction of what makes it all up. So is everyone.
It is certainly humbling to realize that I am just one in billions of humans on this earth; but rather than feel that as a threat to my personal space, how can I use our human connection as a source of LOVE?
Practice: Cultivating genuine LOVE for my fellow human. Recognize the pure beauty of humans.
I get so wrapped up in my close relationships, that I forget what it feels like to extend a sense of compassion to the totality of humanity.
(Have I EVER even felt that?…)
So, this is my work.
Cultivating authentic love for humankind. Overtime I feel annoyed at another person, or group of people, practice transmuting that feeling into a deeper feeling of appreciation for sharing this planet at this time.
…and, transmute that feeling into ACTION into the work that I do, so that I may be as sharp a tool as I humanly can be in the work and the art that I do.
Thank you to the shadows for illuminating the lessons that lie in the darkness.